


I'm Sorry

by Otts486



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Severa is a sad girl that needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 08:37:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21335359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otts486/pseuds/Otts486
Summary: "Who matters more to you, me or Chrom! Why don’t you just MARRY him!”Those were the last words Severa ever said to her mother before she died.  Now in the past, she has another chance to speak with her again but that woman is not her mother. It's too late to apologize now
Relationships: My Unit | Reflet | Robin/Tiamo | Cordelia
Kudos: 39





	I'm Sorry

Severa’s body froze and her heart descended down the icy ravine as she gazed upon the familiar figure that approached her. The way she guided the pegasus was like poetry in motion as she glided through the air and landed beside her. It was perfect as usual. Severa winced as she looked upon her mother’s face. The crimson red hair, that burgundy colored dress, and those authoritative yet loving red eyes that bore into her heart.

“...oh gods. It’s you” Severa muttered. Great, just great, this was by far the last person she wanted to see, especially today.

Cordelia raised an eyebrow, “have we met? If so, I’m afraid I have forgotten”

Severa’s chest tightened, “Well, excuse me for being so forgettable!” She snapped at her mother with a scowl.

Cordelia sighed and shook her head, “look, there’s no time for this. If you’re a friend, speak now. If not, then stay out of Chrom’s way or I’ll have to cut you down”

A flood of memories began to circulate in Severa’s mind as her heart slammed into the rocky canyon floor upon hearing those words. Her hands balled into fists.

“Chrom, Chrom, Chrom! It’s ALWAYS Chrom with you!”

Cordelia’s brow wrinkled in confusion, “I’m sorry?”

“You should be!” Severa snapped, her voice laced with enough venom to fell an elephant. Her arms formed a barrier around her chest, “and I don’t care about your stupid Chrom, so you can drop it! I…” She hesitated for a moment as more memories began to bubble to the surface. 

_ “Who matters more to you, me or Chrom! Why don’t you MARRY him?!” _

_ “Severa I….” _

She swallowed the lump in her throat as she tried her damndest to choke back the wellspring of tears forming in her eyes. She took a quick breath. This wasn’t her mother just some pale imitation. Her real mother was dead. That’s right, she just had to speak to her like any other soldier. A soldier she shared a common goal with.

“I only want to speak to Holland…”

“Holland?”

“Yes, Holland!” She crooked her head in the direction of her friend, “That sad sack over there. Watch my back so I can get to him safely, and then I’ll help your stupid army!”

“O….okay?”

“Oh, and Holland’s not here of his own will, so don’t you dare hurt him!” She scowled at her mother once again.

“Right...” Her mother said before she flew off.

Severa breathed a sigh of relief. Gawds, why the hell did  _ she  _ have to be here. A blurry mist began to form in her eyes as she tried to suppress the rush of memories that burst into her mind. She shook her head. No, this wasn’t the time for that. She just had to get what she came for and leave. She could deal with the rest later. She wiped the tears from her eyes and began to move. 

\-----

Severa’s feet splashed along the city streets as a thunderous roar bellowed across the sky. Tears flung off her face into the wild winds behind her. A scramble of words and voices blended all around her head. 

_ Failure! Geez, she’s such a klutz. Why can’t she just do better? I’m sorry but I cannot pass you. _

She was a failure. Nothing but a stupid stupid failure. She couldn’t do anything right. No matter how hard she worked, no matter how much she trained, and no matter how much she tried to correct herself, it always ended with the exact same result. It was pathetic, really. Her heart sank as she recalled those faces. Those damned faces, all bore into her heart and splattered it all across those cold stone walls. 

Why couldn’t she do better? Why couldn’t she just succeed, for once in her darned life?! She felt her feet slip as the next thing she knew her face slammed against the limestone path. She let out a slight groan of pain. 

She can’t even run properly. Slowly, Severa peeled herself from the ground. This, combined with the many scrapes she received during the test, made her body ache as she tried to get back up. What was the point? Nobody really cared about her anyway. All they cared about was how well she measured up to  _ her _ . Even if she did succeed, it’s not like anyone would congratulate her. She was  _ her _ daughter after all. She was expected to succeed. She grit her teeth. It wasn’t fair. Why did she have to be so damn perfect?! She hated her.

_ Wow, Severa did you that all by yourself? I’m so proud of you! _

_ Come now, Severa you’re not a failure. You just have to pick yourself up and try again. I’m sure you’ll do better next time! _

Her mother’s soft voice rang through her head as Severa wobbled to her feet. Severa wiped some of the blood off her face and slowly made her way back home.

\-----

“I’m home…” She called out as she made her way inside.

“Welcome back” She heard her mother call back from within the kitchen.

Severa scoffed, “It’s a surprise to see you home so early,” She took a seat at the table.

She glanced over at her mother who was chopping up some vegetables as a large pot rested on the stove beside her. A delicious aroma of boiled beef and vegetables wafted through the air and tickled Severa’s nose. She found herself drooling at the intoxicating scent. It was her favorite dish after all.

“Well, lord Chrom insisted I take a break and a pegasus knight does not argue with orders from their exalt. Also, Morgan is asleep so try not to talk so loud”

Severa rolled her eyes at the mention of Chrom. It was always Chrom with her. Could she shut up about him for five minutes?! Sheesh, you’d think she still harbored feelings for the guy or something.

Her mother finished up the vegetables and scraped them into the pot. She sighed and turned around.

Severa winced at the sight of her mother’s face. For one, her hair was a mess. Secondly, there were so many bags under her eyes that it looked like she painted around them with tar. Her skin was blotchy too. When was the last time she had any sleep? How long had she been working? Gods, why does she keep destroying herself like this? Well, she already knew the answer...

“Anyway, how was the test?” She asked, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to watch you this time”

Severa’s stomach twisted at those words as her eyes glided to the floor.

“It’s fine...itsnotlikeIpassedanyway....” 

“I’m sorry?”

Severa remained silent. The tangled words she wanted to say constricted around her heart like a snake around its prey. She couldn’t speak. As if, her perfect mother would understand or care about how she felt. All she cares about is Chrom. Gods it made her sick.

“Oh my Severa what happened to you?” She heard her mother ask.

Severa barely had any time to respond before her mother quickly knelt beside her and pulled at her arm. Severa winced as her arm stung a little from the forceful grab. It was a small couple of wounds she got from crashing into a bunch of trees during the test.

“Hey what are…”

“Oh dear this looks pretty serious,” She said as she examined her daughter’s arm, “Hold on, I’ll go get some salve so don’t move”

Her mother sprang to her feet and darted towards a nearby cabinet. She rummaged through it for a moment and pulled out a small jar. She rushed back to Severa’s side with the open jar. Severa winced as her mother carefully spread the salve along her arm. 

“There, that should do it” Her mother said as she closed the salve and placed on the table, “Does that feel better?”

“...y-yeah…” Her eyes glided to the side, “...Th-thanks mommy…”

Her mother smiled, “That’s good to hear, but how did you get such a bad cut on your arm? It wasn’t because you messed up on your test I hope”

Once again, her heart sank at those words. Her lungs felt like stone as every inch of her body seemed to freeze up. A bubble of tar made its way into her throat all hot and sticky as her face began to crinkle in disgust. A muffled boom of thunder echoed from outside and the sounds of raindrops crashing onto the roof sprinkled through the stiff air. 

Her mother’s smile faded, “Come on, Severa what’s wrong?” She asked in a sweet and gentle voice. “I won’t laugh or get mad I promise, okay”

Severa’s eyes glided to the floor and, for a moment, remained silent. She moved her gaze toward her mother. A warmth began to pulse in her chest.

“W-Well, I…”

A loud knock at the door then suddenly caught their attention.

“Hold on just a moment” Her mother rose to her feet and went to answer the door.

Severa simply sat there, silently and contemplated her words. Her mother really did care. No matter how busy or tired she was, she still cared for her well-being over herself. It was as if for a moment her old mother had come back. The one that wasn’t so busy all the time and didn’t constantly go off about Chrom. Her chest grew warmer as her lips curved a soft smile. She really did care.

“Wait are you saying lord Chrom is…”

Severa looked over at the doorway and watched as her mother took a step back in shock.

“Nothing is confirmed yet but he needs back up immediately and you’re the only one capable of supplying it,” another voice from outside the door said.

“I see…” For a moment, she looked back at Severa and then turned back to the soldier in front of her, “Order the pegasus knights to mobilize, I’ll be ready as soon as I can”

“Understood,” The soldier said and sprinted off back towards the capital.

Her mother shut the door and immediately rushed to throw on her armor. She quickly stuffed her supply bag, grabbed her weapon and made her way towards the door. 

Severa’s heart shattered at the sight before her. The warmth in her chest instantly faded away and was replaced with a cold emptiness. Why would she just leave her like that? Just when she was about to…

A mist of tears formed in her eyes as she walked over to her mother that was just about to exit out the doorway. 

“Mommy wait!” She cried out as she grabbed her mother’s arm, “Please don’t go…”

Her mother glanced back at her, “Severa…” She stood silent for a moment, “I’m sorry Severa but I have to”

Severa’s lips quivered, “but why? Why do you have to go? Why can’t you stay and talk to me?”

“Well, it’s because…” She trailed off for a moment and sighed. She turned around, “Lord Chrom is in danger and I…”

Severa’s hands balled into tight fists. Her nails dug into her palm.  _ Him  _ again, what was so special about this Chrom anyway?

“It’s ALWAYS Chrom with you!” Severa suddenly shouted, “Even when father was still around it was always Chrom this or Chrom that with both of you but it was never about Morgan, about me” Those last two words came out heavy and cold.

“Severa, it’s a pegasus knights’ duty to...”

“What’s so special about him anyway!” Severa glared up at her mother with tear-stained and amber eyes, “What’s so special about him that daddy had to die for him! That you have to risk your life for him! Huh?! Who matters more to you, me or Chrom! Why don’t you just MARRY him!”

“Severa I…”

“Well, answer me!” Rapid puffs of breath sputtered out from Severa’s lungs as she continued to glare at her mother.

Her mother remained silent.

Just as she figured, her mother didn’t care. She would rather go fight for Chrom than stay with her daughters. She loved him more than her. A rush of tears began to rush from her eyes as she moved to cover her face.

“E-Even daddy died for Chrom…” She sputtered out.

Severa then felt her mother’s arms wrap around her. Her tears seemed to stop as she gazed up at her mother’s warm, loving smile. 

“Severa, I’m sorry, but I have to go in order to protect the thing that matters to me most, I hope you understand” She placed her ring in Severa’s hand.

Severa looked down at the small accessory.

“Keep a hold of that and watch over Morgan while I’m gone, okay”

Severa looked away, “O-Okay…” She sniffed.

“Good now you two better get along, I’ll be back before you know it”

Her mother ended the embrace and once again began to walk out the door. She made a quick glance back and smiled.

“Goodbye, Severa, I’ll be back, I promise” She slammed the door behind her which left Severa alone in the cold unending darkness. 

“Severa?” She heard her sister’s drowsy voice as she walked beside her. “Did you and mommy fight again?” She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

Severa didn’t answer only opting to stay silent as the heavy rain and wind whipped around outside. She bit her lip and slammed her fist against the wall. 

\----

“Your mother is dead, I’m sorry…” Lissa said with a cold and unfeeling tone.

Severa’s heart exploded into a fiery burst before sputtering out just as quickly. She wanted to scream but not even a squeal poked out of her mouth. Her lungs froze and her stomach knotted itself. Her hands covered her mouth. Memories of the other day began to flash through her mind. 

_ “I’ll be back, I promise” _

Those words rang through her head on repeat. They swirled and spun around in a 39-second loop. What did those words mean? Was there any meaning? Or were those words simply empty? Empty, just like everything else she said. The world around her began to crumble as her chest tightened after each passing second. It was as if an anchor wrapped around her heart and yanked it down into the cold and empty abyss below.

“NO, YOU’RE WRONG!!” She shouted as she tried to choke back the storm of tears that clawed at her eyes. “THAT JUST CAN’T BE TRUE!! That just can’t be true…”

That’s right, this had to be some sort of mistake. Her mother was perfect in every way. She couldn’t die so easily. Then again...she thought the same way about father...

“Severa, I truly am sorry but….” Lissa moved inside and crouched in front of Severa. “Just know that she died protecting what mattered most to her…”

_ “I have to go in order to protect the thing that matters to me most” _

Those words scrambled through her head and yanked at her heart. For a moment, her lungs stopped. The dam in her eyes cracked as more tears began to leak through the cracks. What did  _ those  _ words mean? What was the thing that mattered to her? It must’ve been Chrom. It had to be him. What else could it be? It couldn’t have been for her. If it had, then, with all those terrible things she had said to her mother on that day…

It would be her fault...

“Severa it’s going….” Lissa moved her hand to the eight-year old’s shoulder only for Severa to swat them away.

“ **JUST SHUT UP!!!** ” She screamed as loud as she could which caused Lissa to recoil. “ **JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!** Just shut up...”

“Severa! Why are you shouting?” Morgan asked as she waddled into the room. “Oh, it’s aunt Lissa!” She said as she sprinted over and wrapped her small arms around Lissa’s chest. 

Lissa put on a half-smile, “It’s good to see you, Morgan”

Morgan smiled, “It’s nice to see you too, but if you’re here then…” She looked around a moment before beaming a wide-eyed smile at Lissa, “Mommy must be home also!”

Severa’s chest tightened even harder as Lissa’s face immediately went pale. Lissa’s smile was dragged to the ground as her eyes narrowed at Morgan.

Morgan cocked her head in confusion, “Aunt Lissa? What’s wrong? Where’s mommy?”

“Well, you see Morgan, your mother is…” Lissa trailed off.

“Gone” Severa finished. Her voice was cold as a corpse, “She’s gone Morgy like daddy” 

“What do you mean?” Morgan looked at her sister. Her violet eyes were wide with confusion and worry. 

“Your sister’s right,” Lissa said which caused Morgan to turn towards her, “Your mother is dead”

Tears welled in the little six year old’s eyes as the pieces were slowly coming into place. “So you mean she’s not coming back…”

Lissa simply nodded which caused Morgan to break out into a hurricane of sobs and tears.

Those sobs were like nails on a chalkboard as Severa screwed her eyes shut. Her hands moved to her face as the dam burst and the tears flooded out like a rush of vomit. A heart-wrenching and near-deafening wail burst into the air.

“I’M SORRY!!!” She cried out over and over again in between sobs but it was too late. Her mother was gone and could no longer hear her pleas. They were nothing more than empty words lost in a sea of despair and regret.

\----

“I’m sorry” Severa whispered to herself as she watched her ‘mother’ dance through the air upon her pegasus. 

She shook her head. The person up there was not her mother no matter how similar they looked and acted. And besides, it was too late for her. Her mother was dead and she had said what she said. There was no changing what had happened and she had to accept that. 

Her head darted over to where Holland was standing. Even so, it may have been too late for her but at least it wasn’t too late for him. 

“Holland!” She called out as she marched over to the scrawny looking soldier. 

Holland jumped and turned over to Severa, “Severa?! Wh-What are you doing here?! If Nelson knows you left your post…”

“I’m leaving, Holland, and you’re coming with me” She pointed a finger in his face.

Holland took a step back as his shoulders turned stiff, “Severa…” He stood silent for a moment before shaking his head, “I..I can’t. You know I can’t. I have a wife. If I don’t earn Nelson’s coin, she’ll starve!” He let out a deep sigh and looked to the floor, “I know it’s blood money, but-”

Severa’s face crinkled into a scowl, “Your wife is PREGNANT, Holland!” She placed her hands to her hips, “You know that, don’t you?!”

“Of course I know that! And that’s none of your concern!”

Her brow began to furrow as memories of  _ that  _ day began to bubble to the surface, “Do you love your child, Holland? Do you love your wife?” She crossed her arms and asked matter of factly.

Holland seemed to frown, “Of course I do!”

“Then stop making excuses!” She shouted, “Trust me, I know that parents will do anything for their children…” She trailed off as she thought back to when her real mother was still alive. For a moment, her eyes glided to the floor, “but…” She looked back at Holland, “I also know how it feels when a child loses her parents” 

“This world’s got far too many kids who’ve gone through that, believe me,” Her hands curled into fists, “If you stay, you’ll be killed or worse! And your child deserves better!”

“Severa I...I’m sorry. I didn’t know. That must have been hard for you” His eyes dropped to the floor and, for a moment, he was quiet. “You’re right though...My child does deserve better” He looked back at her and smiled, “Let’s get out of here”

A warmth pulsed through her chest, “Wait, really?!”

“Yes, really. But we have to hurry!” He said before running off.

Severa smiled, “what an idiot…” She looked over towards the direction where that creep Nelson was. Now, all that’s left was the ring.

\----

Severa’s lips curved a soft smile as she looked at the ruby-encrusted ring in her hands.

“Here it is,” She said as she slipped the ring on her finger. Her amber eyes seemed to sparkle as she looked at the ring.

It was the only memento she had left of her. It was the only thing she had left to remind her of the mistakes she’s made. The only thing left to remind her of all the happy times before she lost everything. She was careless to lose it but it won’t happen again.

“Oh ...You” a painfully familiar voice spoke up from behind.

Her chest ached as she took a quick glance back, “What do  _ you  _ want?!” She said, her voice laced with venom.

“I just wanted to thank you for helping us” Cordelia smiled, “You...fought bravely, er…”

Severa sighed, “Severa...my name is Severa…”

“Oh what a sweet name it...suits you somehow,” She said, “Oh, and my name-”

“Cordelia, I know” Severa finished with a certain coldness.

“Er, yes, that’s…But how did you…?” Her voice fell apart as she scrambled to find her words, “I’m sorry, did I introduce myself before”

Severa rolled her eyes, “you must have if I know your name, gods…” 

A part of her heart twisted with every cold remark she spat out. A small part of her wanted to just throw herself into her arms and cry, to be wrapped in her mother’s warm embrace once again and be told that everything will be okay. She mentally shook her head. That woman wasn’t her mother,  _ her mother _ had died. No matter how much she wanted to apologize. No matter how much she regretted her actions. It was too late to make amends and she had to accept it no matter how much it made her heart ache.

“I...I see” She looked away for a moment before smiling back at Severa, “Well, thank you all the same, Severa”

_ Thank you, Severa _

Those words sent a javelin through her chest. She scrunched her face to stop the drizzle of tears from dripping out of her eyes. She hadn’t heard those words in  _ that  _ voice in too long. It felt almost nostalgic to hear her mother acknowledge her once again. But no, this woman wasn’t her mother. She just looked and sounded like her.

“You already said that!” She turned around as her snow-white hair whipped behind her, “A-And besides, it’s not like I did anything special! I...I was…” Her face flushed a bright red as she struggled to find her words, “I was just fighting to get back what’s rightfully mine!” Her arms once again formed a barrier around her chest, “It’s not like I did it to help you out or anything…”

“R-Right…” Cordelia’s gaze then landed on the ring on Severa’s hand, “Oh my, that ring it looks exactly like…” She looked down at her own identical ring and then back to Severa’s, “Ah, I see. That would explain how you know my name, You’re a friend of Lucina’s, aren’t you? …And you’re my child. Isn’t that right?”

Severa’s eyes once again glided to the floor. “Itwaslonelywithoutyou”

“What was that?”

Severa’s face crinkled into her signature scowl as a smear of red spread across her cheeks, “I SAID, I thought you might be lonely, so I came here to see you!...” She looked away again, “s-so you’re welcome”

“That’s very sweet” Her mother smiled.

A familiar warmth once again to fill her chest only to be yanked away by the javelin twisting deeper into her heart. Her face flushed an even brighter red, “D-don’t mock me!” She glared at her mother once again as a few tears scattered behind her, “You don’t care! You don’t care at all!”

Cordelia put her hand to her mouth, “H-How could you possibly think that? I’m thrilled beyond words to meet you”

Severa swallowed the lump in her throat as her chest tightened once again. A flood of memories from that fateful day scrambled through her head. No, she couldn’t apologize. It was too late.

“Then why’d you leave me? You said you had to go off to fight for what mattered, a-and you never came back! You picked Chrom over me!” She snapped as drops of tears sparkled in her clear amber eyes. “Wh-Why did you leave me?” Her eyes dropped to the floor.

Her mother remained silent for a moment and looked down at her future daughter.

“You have me at a disadvantage, Severa,” She said firmly, “I cannot answer for my future self. But…” She moved her hand and brushed away her daughter’s tears, “when I said I was fighting for what mattered most to me, I probably meant you”

Severa looked up at her mother as her warm smile beamed down at her. Her hand was soft and gentle as if she lay against a soft pillow. It was like she was a little girl again being consoled by her mother.

“I’d want nothing more than to build a world where you can grow up happy and strong. At least that’s what I want right now”

At that moment, Severa’s eyes widened as she saw her mother come back to life right before her. It was like she came back from the dead to see her one last time.

She smiled and rubbed her eyes, “Y-You don’t think I know that…” She sniffed, “I mean, I DO know that but…” She looked away as more smudges of red smeared across her face.

“Severa…” She then felt her mother’s arms wrap around her and a flood of warmth filled her chest. Her heart soared up and danced through the sky. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t a better mother to you” 

And just like that, the dam shattered. A flood of tears burst from her eyes as she finally returned the embrace like she always wanted to on that fateful day. Her face dug into her mother’s shoulder as she clung to the cloth of her shirt. It was warm and familiar like being a swaddled baby rocked in her mother’s gentle arms.

“I’M SORRY!!” She cried out in between sobs, “I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t mean what I said, please don’t ever leave me again...please…promise”

Her mother curved a soft smile, “I promise”


End file.
